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How Do I Make Money Fall In Love With Me? – Gloria Chimelu

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How Do I Make Money Fall In Love With Me?

Walking into a bank today, my body stiffened to the blast of the air conditioner. I joined an orderly queue, my glance flicking to the screen: CNN. Immediately, I remembered that you don’t swallow everything the media gives you. You have to select what you want like picking bones from sweet fish.


There are fine guys everywhere but from their feminine traits, I suspect they are gay. I remember Richard Quest, I used to be a fan when I was younger. Now knowing he’s gay, my crush for him is dead. Amanpour comes into view. I remembered how my parents would talk about her like she was a long distance aunt.  A banker carrying a bottle of wine came into view. She was laughing too hard and shaking her hips a little too much. Within minutes, another one came into the banking hall, her cleavage a value added service.

My feet are freezing, it has been raining since morning. I wish I was in Jos lazing about watching Family Guy. Not here in Calabar chasing money and my current boyfriend. I’m sure if I chase him very well he’ll come chasing back. I look at my school fees and wish I could go spend it in the market nearby. A list runs through my head. Sigh.  I have to make money fall in love with me. I’ve suffered enough without him.


My turn finally came. I paid my fees and dashed out into the rain, seeking refuge in the warmth of a cab.

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