Letting The Pains From Rape Destroy Me Would Make All My Suffering Vain – Rape Survivor
When you have been abused, do you hide your scars or tell your story? On today’s #SyncityNGLLL, find out more.
She was abused by her father, different pastors, gang raped and shipped off to prostitution.
If you are a victim of abuse, you should get her book, read it and heal. She was abused by nothing less than 20 men.
Welcome to the show.
I’m definitely honored and glad to be doing this with SynCityNG.
You must be so strong. Tell us about your healing process. How can people heal when they are abused?
I do not know if I’m all that strong. I cry sometimes and I still wake up screaming because of the nightmares.
My healing process began the day I told myself, “Not any more.”
I couldn’t let the pain and anger destroy me. All that suffering would have been in vain.
Abused people can heal by letting themselves feel. We like to build walls and create facades, acting strong and brave. Some become bullies or sadists. I let myself feel the pain and then in that pain, I found my purpose.
What has the reception of the book been like among your family? Your dedication page had real names.
Well, family isn’t only people linked with you by blood. My adoptive family has been very supportive. My biological parents are still terrible parents, but I’m intentionally going to send them a copy of the book. My adoptive big sister, Shubi, is the best sister ever.
Whether my biological family like it or hate it, the book is out in the open. Our society has upheld this culture of damaging silence for far too long.
At what point in your life are you now? Have you totally healed?
I’m still a work in progress. Not totally healed, but I’m well on the way there.
There are abuse victims that are scared to come out. Don’t you think that by hiding your identity, you help them hide their stories?
I don’t think so. My charity has helped over 125 victims of sexual abuse and domestic violence so far. My anonymity even makes it easier for them to relate with me. People tell their stories without fear of their safety being compromised.
Your story is a chilling one. Do you plan on punishing your abusers or letting them go scot free?
Punishment is relative. If you’re talking about revenge, no, I won’t revenge. But I’m going to study law or psychology at the university because I want to hunt abusers down and abolish their activities. My best punishment is succeeding at school and wearing that wig one day.
Tell those who haven’t read the book a brief summary of what we can find in it when we buy.
My life was controlled by many evil people. I was incapable of fighting; every day came with its own horror and pain. Living lost its essence to me.
This book is about my journey – How I fought to get out of abuse, depression and suicidal tendencies and how I’m winning.
What of girls and boys who are too scared to talk? How can you be of help to them?
Sometimes, just loving someone and showing that you’re there and you have their back is enough. I can show them my own scars and show them the pathway to my own healing. I’ll encourage them to share at their own pace.
How do victims get to trust again after years of pain? How did you regain trust in humans?
I battled with trust issues for a very long time. It’s hard to regain trust in people after getting broken over and over, but I remember that I’ve also hurt people and that other people trust me.
If you close your eyes to everything bad, the good will escape you as well.
People really need to read your book. Please tell us where we can get it.
My book is available as an e-book on Okada books online store and in paperback as well. You can DM me for enquiries about paperback copies.
Please share with us some words of encouragement for all victims who are afraid.
It’s okay to cry. Please don’t keep quiet. Silence is the fastest way to die. You are stronger than you can possibly imagine. Don’t kill yourself, everything you’re going through now is something you’ll laugh about tomorrow.
You’re not filthy.
God loves you.
It is indeed okay to cry! Wow! Such a meaningful session.
Special thanks to @idonhidemyscars for sharing the gift of herself on today’s show. Her book is out for purchase on Okadabooks.
Pleasure is all mine. Always a delight to share. Thank you for the opportunity.