Only Lazy Girls Sleep With Men For Money- Chief Synner
The Editor-in-Chief of Syncityng recently sat down with Chinelo Akorah, a lawyer and women’s advocate to talk about life, relationships and finance. Enjoy the interview!
From getting out of the university, to discovering your Purpose, Career, Relationship, and getting Money, we talked about all a lady should focus on, Married isn’t only what you can be, PLEASE BE MORE! We went through these all to inspire you. I am confident we succeeded!
CAN WE MEET YOU?
I am Onyinyechi Osuchukwu, a Creative writer and Director and an Entrepreneur. I attended University of Lagos, I studied History and Strategic Studies. I finished in 2011.
WHAT WERE YOUR EXPECTATIONS AS IT RELATES TO CAREER AND RELATIONSHIP AT THE TIME OF LEAVING THE UNIVERSITY?
Basically I had no marriage expectations, because I finished quite young, it was about enhancing my career, and getting something out of life.
DID YOU HAVE A PARTICULAR AMOUNT YOU HOPED TO START OFF EARNING?
I am a realist, although I had hopes on earning a huge amount with the kind of grades I had, but I kept an open mind. I remember getting a call from someone claiming to be my mate in NYSC, and that his uncle had a Job in SHELL PETROLEUM that I should send my CV. I sent my CV and then he started requesting for money and recharge cards, I told him to do the Job first, and it was later I knew from some of my friends that it was a SCAM, everybody who probably went through NYSC went through this experience.
HOW DID YOU GET A JOB AFTER NYSC?
I applied. I worked even before NYSC, immediately I dropped my pen, even before my Convocation which was in 2012, I applied at ALPHA PLUS, a Company in Lagos, and I got called, at first I started with Communication department, I had the duty of talking with clients, and after NYSC I went back there, moved to HR department before I left. On the sides, I was doing a bit of writing, I did lots of writing scattered here and there on different websites and blogs, if you check on Google with my pen name “Mystiquesyn,” you will probably find some of my works. The work as HR took care of my basic needs. I didn’t have to rely on my parents.
IN THE COURSE OF WORKING AND GETTING BUSY WEREN’T YOU REMINDED ABOUT THE NEED FOR YOU TO “SETTLE DOWN”?
Yea, first of all, I am Igbo, I am Ada, I’m from Nnewi in Anambra State, like the odds are always out against someone who has that kind of profile, my father was always saying, “you are working so hard, you are getting slim.” I got to hear the whole “why are you working, a man will come and marry you,
you know those stuffs every Igbo lady hears at some point for her life if she doesn’t marry early. So I had my share of those words.
WHAT TRAIT DO YOU NEED IN A MAN YOU HOPE TO SETTLE WITH?
Now we are matured, when we were younger we all wanted rich, tall, dark and handsome, but now I just want a partner, I tell people it is much more than a husband. There is no lady that doesn’t have about say five guys running after her, it’s almost tempting to just grab one person from your inbox, and say, “OK I agree, let’s just do this.”
There are plenty husbands, but it’s somebody who you can form a team with you need, it is not even about the money, at my level now it has exceeded the money, I know I will never be hungry, I know what to do, I know how to get my hands dirty to get my own money, so I just need a partner who we will be like, “See o, we are going on a 50years or 55years journey, let us go together.”
I am too lazy to learn another language at this age, so I prefer someone Igbo, then I am too lazy to learn how to cook other dishes or to explain to my father what happened, I still want someone Igbo, someone enlightened and a ride or die guy, same way they want a ride or die chic, someone taller than I am, it would be fantastic to see someone who is a Christian but these days, we say what you need is a good man, so I’m flexible, just have sense.
About my last relationship, I don’t want to be with somebody who does not support my business, I was anchoring radio shows, he wasn’t listening, I was writing business proposals he wasn’t interested, it dampens my spirit. He was just a good friend, but he was not someone I wanted as a partner.
WHAT ARE YOUR MOST CHERISHED QUALITES IN A RELATIONSHIP?
Generousity. This is because I give a lot, I can cook and just bring to your house, I spend a lot in relationships, because I don’t like people giving me stuffs. I don’t collect money from my boyfriends, I like to give people my money, my time or my food or something, I like cooking for people, so I want somebody who can equally do things for me.
I don’t want to be the only one doing it, I know when I like somebody, the giving gets uncontrollable, I will either want to buy this or cook that. I want a cheerleader, business ideas are always coming to my head, I am running several small businesses, I’m always thinking, so I just want you to just come, sit down and listen to me, without being bored, lolz, that’s just it.
WHAT IS DIFFERENT BEING OUT OF A UNIVERSITY?
Now I am out of school, there are some things I wish people told me, I didn’t have a social life, even though I was the best graduating student in my department, but I wish I explored my social life, it was only when I got to year4 some friends of mine had to drag me to the club, when I came out I understood that life is much more than the four point whatever you are coming out with, ok
Imagine that for the past 6years I hadn’t collected my certificate till recently,the paper is not what is going to propel you in real life, I wish people will learn a skill, because writing is what pays my bills now, and people should make meaningful network.
WHAT DECISION HAVE YOU MADE RECENTLY THAT IS GEARED TOWARD MOVING YOUR LIFE FORWARD?
Going back to get more qualifications, was the decision I made recently, more degrees that I will actually use, now that is the difference, I do a lot of psychology therapy online, so I figured that instead of being an unofficial therapist, I can be an official therapist.
DO YOU EVER FEEL ALL ALONE WITH ALL YOUR ISSUES TO DEAL WITH UNLIKE SCHOOL DAYS?
Yes I do, I am very different from my social media persona, l like to be on my own, I don’t like to talk too much, more like an introvert, sometimes extrovert, depending on the person and depending on the mood. One thing with somebody who is without a relationship, or who has no best friends, is that most times you are usually your company, you just do a lot of thinking. I am also a very private person too. So most times I’m alone.
FRANKLY SPEAKING, ALL THE HARDWORK AND EFFORT YOU PUT IN DAILY, HAVE IT SHOWN TO BE WORTH IT?
Sometimes you just doubt your dreams and your ambition, you just say to yourself, “all these work wey you dey do sef, you no go just find one rich man marry?” sometimes you just wonder, what is the essence of this whole thing, but the thing with narcissist like us, people who love and are confident in themselves and what they can do is, those periods are just for a short while, first of all you are like, “Dangote son should come,
I will marry and probably desert my dreams and just enjoy the life”, then after a while you are like, “Oh my God no! So my name, all my business interest will just die, lol.”
Never! What I do at the beginning of every year is to set out 4 goals, and take them one by one, and everything I do is centered on my goals.
The businesses I run and my goals are not just about getting ends me, but you know one thing is, when you are ambitious, and you do nothing about it, it eats you up from inside, you always want to share your dreams out, your want to achieve this, and leave your mark. I usually have a fear of being a mediocre. When you are ambitious, you just have to look for outlets to let the passion and drive come out. The satisfaction of living out my dreams has been worth it.
ARE THERE OTHER ISSUES A LADY SHOULD FOCUS ON IMMEDIATELY AFTER SCHOOL, THAN JUST GETTING MARRIED AND RAISING KIDS, AS IT SEEMS LIKE THE GENERAL EXPECTATION?
When I finished school, in fact while I was in third year, family started giving me heads up, my grandma kept calling, that is what they expect to be your whole life’s goal, that you will just come out of school, marry and start rearing children, I believe that there should be a re-orientation, where ladies should actually think more of themselves, in the same vein, you can take a horse to the stream but you can’t force it to drink, there are some ladies who have zero ambition.
I still believe that whether you want to go the Career way or just marriage way, the most important thing is that you get the best of yourself. I have friends who after getting married still continued their dreams as if nothing happened, but this is only possible when you have a supportive partner. I know women who have successfully handled the two fronts, home and career, it is not a game where you have to choose this at the expense of this. I believe that women should be goal getters, they should spread their arms as wide as possible. I believe a woman can be successful, have a wonderful family, a supportive husband. An all rounded woman is what women should aspire to be.
For the ladies who are leaving school the most important thing is finding your purpose, you can’t go into a family when you don’t know where you are heading to. You should know where live is directing you, seeing the bigger picture, what part you want to take, this is very key as it helps you decide the kind of life partner you want.
Someone told me, the worst mistake a woman will make is to marry someone that stifles her. When you know where you are going, it will help you make an appropriate choice.
Those ladies, who are just out of school, should not be in a rush to jump into a relationship or marriage when you have not discovered yourself. Having a family is a fantastic thing but you need to discover yourself first.
HOW THEN DOES A LADY DEAL WITH DISAPPROVALS AND NAY SAYERS WHILE TRYING TO DISCOVER HER PURPOSE?
You can’t allow people with myopic views of life to dictate to you what you should do, when I wanted to get my Land earlier this year, there was this elderly woman I was talking to, she is close to 70, she was just telling me how she got properties in her name while married, all the properties she got while married were all in her name, probably because she travelled abroad after secondary school, she returned so enlightened.
It got to a time that her husband was jealous of her because she was industrious and all, but after a while the man became comfortable, and they live happily. This woman is a strong devoted Catholic, very principled, has children and grand children, not even an unmarried bitter feminist. Lolz.
When a man treats you like trash it is because you permitted it, when people know that “this person will not take this thing oh”, they know how to back off.
Continue at Chineloakorah.com