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Digital Rectal Examination

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Digital Rectal Examination

 

Welcome again, it’s your favorite online doctor, Super CJ. Here’s a little something for you.

 

 

Accused Of Being A Gay Perv In The Line Of Duty.

Digital Rectal Examination [DRE] is a diagnostic procedure, which is part of the physical examination, in which the examiner inserts a lubricated,gloved finger into the ANUS of a patient to assess the anal canal and surrounding structures for certain pathologies.

It is a dirty procedure, to insert one’s finger into another’s shit and stink hole. Sometimes the patient poos right after the procedure, immediately your hand leaves his anus, with the examination room taking up the stink. Most times, your gloved finger is stained with faeces, and all what not, and you have to look at it to characterize it. Dirty stuff.

However, it is an invaluable procedure, especially in suspected cases of Prostate pathologies, colorectal masses, rectal prolapse, haemorrhoid, intussusception, etc. In fact, a physical examination of the Gastrointestinal system [Digestive tract] is deemed incomplete without a DRE. It is enough to make you fail your final MBBS exams!

 

Yesterday, I had a 45-year old man complaining of constipation, presence of blood and mucus in his stools, and tenesmus. All were suggestive of a colorectal pathology. So, after taking the history, I counselled him for a DRE, and he accepted.

With a chaperone around, 2 actually, I wore my gloves, positioned him, and then lubricated my gloved index finger with KY jelly. As I parted the cheeks of his buttocks, and made to insert my​ finger into his anus, he was fidgeting and tightening his ass, so much I couldn’t see where to insert my finger.

I counselled, cajoled, begged, made promises that it won’t be painful, all to no avail. I had never had such an experience before! After about 10 minutes, or so,we told him to climb down, that we would instead send him for investigations without doing the DRE.

While I was documenting, he was talking to the others in their language, and what he was saying was apparently very funny as they were all laughing. When I caught the word “Igbo,” I realized that maybe he was talking about me. So, I asked them what he was saying. And they said he was telling them that word has it that most Igbo boys are gays, and enjoy anal sex; and that he thinks I may be one of them.

Shock! I was dumbfounded. So why did he give consent in the first place, after proper counseling, if he had such a “phobia,” or had such an impression of me [Igbo boys]? Scratch that. How in hell did he think that I would fnd him, and his diseased anorectum, attractive, even if I was a gay perv? How!

I have heard of doctors being accused of molestation by ladies during a Vaginal Examination, but I have never heard of anyone being accused of being a gay perv on the grounds of attempting a DRE.

At the end of the day, I was just happy for two things;

1. That I didn’t go ahead with the DRE.

2. That I had chaperones aroun

Who knows what this man would have said if it was only the two of us in the room, and I had ahead with the DRE

 

Dear colleagues, it is no longer just while examining a member of the opposite sex that we must insist on having a chaperone around. With homosexuality gaining more grounds and acceptance, I think we’ve come to that point where patients as the same sex as us must also be seen as people capable of accusing us of sexual molestation.

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