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Sexual Desire Is Natural -Dheelicious Musings
I’m single and I’m a virgin, but it would be self-delusional of me to think that I can love a girl without also being sexually attracted to her. I’m not saying it’s impossible — as there are people who don’t even feel sexual desire at all — rather what I’m saying is that as a heterosexual male, it’s highly unlikely that I can feel emotionally attached to a girl without seeing her as a potential sex mate.
It’s funny, but some ladies place so much unnecessary importance on sex, that a lot of guys pretend they love them just to have sex with them. Which defeats the whole purpose of them wanting a platonic relationship, because when you place anything on a pedestal, the likelihood that it becomes the primary motivation for those who find you attractive increases.
Sex and relationship are a lot more complex than many young people are inclined to admit. Forget what that “love doctor” or “relationship expert” is saying: there’s no universal codes of behavior guiding sex and relationship — and if there’s any, it’s probably more idealistic than realistic.
Sex in theory is only an act, but sex devoid of theory is a multifaceted conundrum. And it’s this lack of singularity that makes perspectives on it extremely subjective and individual.
For one, the way most males understand sex differ from the way most females understand it. Females who genuinely believe sex is overrated (in the context of it not meaning anything) are extremely rare, and are the type that won’t see having sex with their boyfriend as a ritual to own him or as proof of their love for him.
When a lady starts having the mindset that her boyfriend wanting sex from her means he doesn’t love her, she puts her horny boyfriend in an unfair position where he would often have to pretend just to keep her.
The truth is, before a serious guy asks his girlfriend for sex, a lot of conscious thinking goes on in his mind in the form of questions.
“What would she think of me? Would she now think I’m only after her body and that I don’t love her? What if she says no? Would it be because she doesn’t love me enough, or would it suggest that she has doubts regarding our relationship?”
These are thoughts some guys have, but because they don’t want their girlfriends thinking that they are perverts or playboys, they would often pretend they don’t have sexual thoughts and desires.
Same occurs in long distance relationships too, where a guy is made to feel like asking his far away girlfriend for nudes is a sign that he’s only concerned about having a sexual relationship with her. It doesn’t help either that many ladies expect a guy to love them by having an image of the Virgin Mary in his head when he thinks of them.
Which raises the question of if they would rather have their boyfriends fantasizing about them, or would they rather have him fantasize about a porn star or any other girl on social media.
Ultimately, having sexual desire is natural, and to feel it for the one you love is only normal. And no, a girl isn’t doing a guy she claims to love a favour by having sex with him, just as he isn’t doing her a favor by loving her.
Chastity and celibacy are real — I’m a testament of both — but it’s rather illogical to make them a prerequisite for true love. Love is an emotion, and sex is an act. You can feel and not do, you can do and not feel, and you can do and as well feel. It’s a three-way street. Let’s stop guilt-tripping males who are honest enough to admit their desire for sex.
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