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Opinion: Dear Masses, Being Poor Is Not An Excuse

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I wrote this piece for fifietalkslive.com

Today, I am on my lawyer Ikpe-ama outfit so anything I say or do shall not be used against me in a court of law. I have a message for the masses. By masses, I means those of us living below two dollars a day. If you are eating at least three square meals daily and even four or sometimes five, please don’t come here o! Your own case will be judged in the Keto Diet court.

I was just minding my business as usual. You know how I pretend to mind my business but deep down, you and I know that I am not really minding my business? Don’t judge me please. I have to say it like it is.

In the process of “minding my business”, I came across an update. Three nw’ogbenye siblings were arrested! Poor people! “Innocent traders”. Arrested? For what, kwanu?

They were caught selling beans preserved with sniper! Sniper? As per tusa tusa? Obara Emma!

Nna men!

So wait, let me get this straight. Because you are a “masses”, you think that gives you the right to do what is wrong? Eh kwa? I ga-aburu ogbenye buru amosu? Will you be poor and still be a winch? Pick a hustle! How can a normal human being (a sane one at that preserve beans with insecticide?)

See eh, let me not lie. I knew of this practice as at five years ago. A beans seller told a friend who told a friend, who told me. The news is supposed to be hush hush among “civilians” (people who eat beans but do not sell beans) and it has been going on for a very long while. The beans seller said that sniper is used to prevent moths from eating the beans. This is how they do it; they get big tins of industrial sniper and soak the bags in it. When the bag is dry, they pour beans into it and reseal.

Image result for beans

Chi m o!

In the words of Zebrudaya “Are you seeing what I am saw?”

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Dear Masses, Being Poor is Not an Excuse

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