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New Day, New Facebook Drama- Gidi Tattles #12

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Facebook and Drama!

This Nkechi sef!

Jason Chinonso threw a shade at  Nkechi Bianze after she blocked him. Make person tell Jason say him reply still dey cook for pot. I trust Nkechi. Well, the post attracted the usual Nkechi haters. See what this one wrote:

Promise Emmanuel: “I hate that feminism tag so much because of that rudderless exhaust pipe”.

Mogbe!

Nkechi na rudderless exhaust pipe? Bros, how you wan die? Death by English, Death by grammar or Death by long post?

??????.

Jimmy Nya also said  “Attention from a cheap whore like Nkechi. Mtchewww! Facebook noisemaker. If Nkechi passes Ajah, Lagos, they won’t even notice her. He got 5 likes after 22 hours. These are the people that liked the comment: C J Cross Ebuka, Vera Chukwu and some other nobodies.

 

Sexy Charles is at it again…

Charles Uzor is at it again….The Omega Fitness doctor has officially turned to “SUBmachine gun”, firing on all cylinders(erm, Chambers?). ?

How he managed to SUB four unrelated people on one post is still a mystery to mere mortals like myself. For those that did see the sub, here you go:

“Let me now start to number my posts. This one is rant 546A, because I’m writing from Abuja. I am a brand, accomplished, knowledgeable and all of that. I will put my name at the end of this post to declare my patent rights because I’m wise like that. Who cares if my copyright is associated automatically with my Facebook profile? One has to be twice as sure in these perilous times, you see? Can’t bear to have one of these smellos stealing my shit.

These so – called unbelievers will say we are ridiculous and ignorant and stupid and unenlightened and delusional and many things far, far, far worse. Trust them not to use so many words. I see it! I see it in their scornful tones and false modesty. They say we are foolish and selfish but they are the ones who come running to us in our luxury Lekki apartments when they are stranded. We let them hold their parties here but they mistake our kindness for stupidity.

I studied the language in college and I’m an award – winning author. I have the right to critique popular errors in your use of English but make no mistake, inviting your friends to laugh over my mistaken use of the adjective, posh, as a verb, poshed, is one insult I will not stomach. The other time I sent my work to one of my friends to edit and he said there were too many errors. Why did he have to rewrite my work? Of course I published the edited work but I wasn’t happy to be the object of scorn. These days I just unfriend these smarties and move on with it. No time for negativity jare.”

***

And now to the decoding of the sub.

Owner of first sub: Joy

The first paragraph is a joint sub. One is for Aunty Joy and the other for Chi-Chi. Aunty Joy is famous for numbering her rants. In her defence, Sylph Joy Maverick  wrote that “Isi Bewaji does not sign off her rants (not all her posts are numbered as rants) and as for copyright, she is a brand in her own right. Why? Because she makes money out of them “rants”- turning them into plays, got contract jobs via them “rants” and even make money out of subs. Amazing! You should try that or perhaps, it’s time to bake a cake? #subaccurately

**

Sylph, you try….Your sub detector is on fleek.  Dr. Muscles is not a nice sumborri.

Owner of sub 1a: Chi chi

The post has two “subbees”, sha. It is Chi-Chi that signs off her posts with “All Rights Reserved, Chioma Nnani”.

 

Owner of Sub 2: Hymar

On to the second paragraph of the SUBstantial post. This one features Hymar of course. I don’t know the Atheist boy wey go toast Hymar gehfren. Na so the guy instead of saving souls for Christ on Sunday, just start to dey cry about dem Atheist pipu. Hymar, sho e re,o !Is it because Athiests  don get registered society? You see as Charles drop one on top ya head. No come give us story say you no dey the mood again. But Hymar, you do birthday party I no get IV? Chineke! I no go beg Charles on ya behalf anymore.

 

Owner of sub 3: Bura Bari

As per the third paragraph, it was for writer and editor, Bura Bari. What led to the drama? Oga English Language graduate that writes for a living was caught napping on the keyboard. He made a post filled with errors and questionable verbs. Bura-Bari was seen licking his wound ever since he made a post claiming to unfriend people that will not support his dream. He said: “To all of you who shared or liked what was shared, when I find you out, I’d unfriend and let’s keep a poshed life going. ”

Poshed? Hmmm…is it me or does that word sound like gbagaun? A whole writer?

What a wawu!

Writer that cannot say “poshed” is that one writer?

 

The truth is bitter #Selah

Allison Olakunle of the Selahideen fame made a post backing randy pastors. He went further to say “The mouth is not a sex organ”.

Hmmm!

Abeg wetin your a-porn-stle use lick Otobo Otu? Nose? Yeye…

 

What are your thoughts about the mouth being a sex organ? Let’s talk!

 

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3 comments
  1. Damsy Oge

    Somebody canor live a ‘poshed’ life in peace again, they will be asking …es it BSc abi BTech in English that you have? What a wawu!!

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