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Domestic Violence – Dheelicious Musings

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Domestic Violence: Some women get on my nerves…

No, scratch that. Actually, it’s the
stupidity of some women that gets on my nerves. Women like the wife of
the man that owns the house on the other side of the fence. His name
is Abubakar, but because his age, everyone on the street calls him Oga
The first time I knew him, I didn’t even know he had a wife, as he was
always bringing home prostitutes. Then later, his wife came from Kogi
State with their daughter to stay with him. That decision created an
impression he was tired of being an ATM to prostitutes, and wanted to
be a serious family man.
Things were okay between him and her, until she got pregnant. There
was constant fighting between them, and she almost even lost the
pregnancy. Oga Abu said he doesn’t want to see her again, friends and
family came begging, before he decided to let her stay.  Weeks later
though, after another series of fights, he threw her bag out. Madam
was urged to leave and return back to Kogi, and even though she was
adamant about staying, she eventually left with their daughter.
Once she was gone, Oga Abu brought another wife from Kogi ― one small
geh like that wey no fit pass 16 years. Whatever needed to happen
between them happened, the girl got pregnant too, they were fights
again, she lost the pregnancy, and she was sent back to the village in
no time.
The girl was disrespectful and perhaps she couldn’t cope with the
demands of marriage  at her age, but that still doesn’t justify the
way he treated her. No woman should be treated like crap, and if you
know you can’t handle a woman’s flaws and limitations, then respect
your sensitivities and let her be. You won’t die if you leave her
alone and look elsewhere.

Anyway, months passed, and I don’t know if it was because loneliness
wan kill Abu, but he brought back madam. I was shocked she agreed to
come back with him, considering all she had to endure before he kicked
her out. To cut the story short, he has started beating her again, he
has disconnected the pumping machine of his house just because he
doesn’t want her to have access to water, and yesterday he made her
sleep on the street after locking her out of the compound.
Sometimes he would come back from work, and in a short space of time,
you will start hearing her screaming. She has been advised to report
him to the police, but she keeps saying she doesn’t want to because he
might disown her daughters. She even believes it’s because her
mother-in-law doesn’t like her, that’s why her husband is treating her
the way he does.
Say whatever you want about how much of a terrible bastard Oga Abu is,
but I think madam herself is either too stubborn to be sensible or too
stupid to be smart.  Everyone has gotten tired of telling her to leave
or report him to agencies and organisations that deal with issues of
domestic violence. Even when you wish to do so on her behalf, she
would be begging you not to.
As far as I’m concerned, only a stupid woman would insist on suffering
at the hands of a man who clearly has no regard for her feelings,
well being, and life. Seriously, if she was standing in front of me, I
would say it to her face: madam, sorry o, I know say true-true Oga Abu
na wicked man. But sha you sef, shey he use juju tie your sense?”
Coin toss!

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