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Abortion is a selfish decision
There are three things in the world that I tend to lose all sense of rationale when discussing, and they are love, abortion, and women. If you a consistent reader of this column, you would notice that I have a love-hate relationship with love. But today I don’t intend to talk about love, rather I wish to share my thoughts on abortion and to some extent, women.
Last week Tuesday (March 8, 2017) was International Women’s Day, and as usual social media was swooning with tribute tweets and posts celebrating womanhood and all it entails. I also joined in the celebrations, because my admiration for women is one of adoration and affection.
While skimming through the tributes on my news feed, I came across a post I found rather interesting. It was a post about abortion, and how so long it’s illegal in Nigeria, it would always be a reason for Nigerian men to think they own their partner’s body – with partner in this instance being girlfriend or wife. The poster was a feminist, so I wasn’t surprised by her perspective.
From my personal experience though, I’m inclined to believe that abortion is a selfish decision. Selfish not only because there’s often no consideration for the foetus (a potential human), but also because some women don’t take into account the opinion of the man who was a party to the sex that led to the pregnancy. And before my opinion is mistaken, I’m writing solely in the context where having a baby doesn’t endanger the life of the mother, where the baby has no deformity, and where the man has taken responsibility for the pregnancy. Even in the case where the man is a runaway fool, my sentiments would incline me to admonish the woman to still keep the pregnancy.
My sentiments aren’t back by any religious dogma or doctrine I harbor. For a fact I’m an agnostic-theist, so what religion thinks doesn’t influence me so much; neither am I saying this on the premise that I am a man, and thus, doesn’t understand what it means for a woman to be pregnant. Rather I feel this way because I’m a man who was only minutes away from being aborted as a fetus. So when I think about abortion, it’s incredibly difficult for me to divorce my experience from my conviction.
I think about how easy it was for me to never have been born, and it makes me angry that my mother didn’t love me enough to want to keep me. Her reasons were selfish, and this singular issue was primarily why I never had any sort of relationship with her till her death. And it’s important for me to state that my disability had nothing doing with her wanting to abort me, because I wasn’t actually born with any disability.
Feminists want abortion legalized across the world, and why I don’t necessarily disagree with some of their arguments, I feel there’s a need for us to add caveats to any law or policy that seeks to establish this. I don’t think it’s fair, for example, to insist on giving birth to a child you know would struggle through life. Life is difficult enough for people with disabilities, so it makes no sense to me while anyone would risk bringing a child with a life-threatening or life-altering deformity to the world, especially when this deformity can’t be corrected by science.
Feminism should do more in ensuring there are equal opportunities for men and women, and I believe that this should take priority over matters of choice like having a child, because if a woman can have sex without protection, either through ignorance or carelessness, then abortion should not be a get-out-of-jail card she plays to cover up her wrong. Same applies to men.
If you agree with me, don’t forget to share. If you don’t, let talk in the comments section.
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