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Ghen-ghen-ghen! Another Hot Facebook Gist Has Arrived -Gidi Tattles by Bolaji Yusuf #8

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Hey Synners!

These past two days have been lit on social media. I won’t be surprised if we still have to continue discussing some of the topics in subsequent days.

Let’s dig in. No time for long talk.

Gist 1

The #WifeNotCook hashtag came to an abrupt end on Monday due to the outbreak of “Kementitis” of Big Brother Naija.

You don’t know what “kementitis” ? Esskissmi…*rolls eyes*

“Kementitis: a wilful and indecent urge to grope a female body, through the use of hands or other parts of the body, to feel a momentary burst of sexual high.” ~ Mitterand Okorie

But wait o, Oga Kemen actually fingered a sleeping lady? Woman dey sleep, you carry finger insert inside hot paradise? Even if she say make you give am back rub, ehen? Hian! Kemen village people really mean am. Village people 25 million- 0 Kemen.

Amina Miango Chohwe jejeli stated “We have a sex problem in this country” Some disrupters kuku came on the post to masturbate. You know the disrupters, right? Disrupters are those people that will want to change the direction of a topic at hand. They will come on a post with “Black Lives Matter” and scream  “All lives Matter” or when the discussion is about “The girl child deserves equal educational opportunities”…they will say “All children deserve equal educational opportunities”.

Duh?! Abeg, go and yansh down like Manchester United in sixth position. The chief disrupter in that  comment thread was  “Daniel Osa-Ogbegie”  who said “It’s funny the way you people appropriate everything negative to this country…there’s a sex problem everywhere.” The misyarn no do am o! He went on to say “Rape is only when penis penetrates the vagina”. At that point, I just check out of that place…

 

Come closer…this sweet hot gist will blow your mind

Adeyinka Grandson, the famous DV perpetrator and divorcee posted drivel on his Facebook wall. This is the summary: “Igbo women are anti-marriage warriors on Facebook while most Yoruba women on Facebook fart rainbows and don’t go about being anti-marriage”. Infact, who half amebo epp? This is the full post:

“Statistics don’t lie. I can get just about 50 women of Igbo extraction on social media who are anti-marriage people, but to produce 50 of such from Yoruba women on social media would be a herculean task.

Anti-Marriage Igbo women on social Media:

Viola Ifeyinwa Okolie

Amanda Chisom

Tina Iberosi

Nkechi Uroko Obuna

Nkechi Bianze

Add your own…

 

——————————————————————————–

 

Anti-Marriage Yoruba women on social Media:

None to my knowledge.

 

Women who have managed to maintain their homes and marriages should be the powerful voices that must be prized and speak up for women, not single mothers and unmarried women with multiple sex partners forming feminism on social media”.
*Sigh*

First things first.. Nkechi Bianze no be Igbo.

In a comment section from Ugonna Ufere’s wall, Michella Kurian said the difference between a Yoruba woman and an Igbo woman in this context is that one speaks up and isn’t afraid of doing so. It doesn’t make the latter any better. Having an opinion and talking about  it doesn’t make you a bad person. Having an opinion and choosing to remain silent about it doesn’t make you a better person. I live in Yoruba land and I see too many single mothers who were never married. I also see women who are sent home for cheating. I even see women that cheat and use juju to force the husband to ignore her yeye habit . There are women that will silently become 4th wife to one ogbologbo that can’t even brush his mouth instead of staying single. I have seen women that have lived with a man for 20 years and he has no idea where her family house is; she even feeds the man and pays rent probably because she was the one that begged him to move in with her so she won’t have to be alone . I have seen women that will bring in ashewo for her husband, instead of him going out. All this is just to maintain peace in the household. I have seen women that allow the boyfriend or animal husbandry to sleep with their sisters and friends, just so he won’t leave her. This Adeyinka man should not just make me go gaga this morning. Most of your Yoruba women, when they have relationship or marriage problems, they still look for all the people mentioned in the post for their opinions on matter.

That was a low punch in the tummy for Yoruba ladies, abeg. ???

 

Touch not my Prophet and do his manhood no harm

Pastor Suleiman is in the news again. A lady, Stephanie Otobo accused him of getting her pregnant and trying to flush the baby with concotion. Concotion? What happened to holy water? Stephanie also alleged that the prophet said he would marry her after divorcing his wife. Some girls mumu sha. Wife wey dey follow am climb altar every Sunday. Wehdone ma. Facebook did not let this one rest at all at all. Darren Idongesit said the woman (Stephanie Otobo) was asking for too low a sum when she asked for 500 million for emotional damages.#WickedSumbori.

Well, the main gist was in the comments section. Chisom felt that the lady had no case because of public policy if you looked at the case using legal lens. That was how Madam Chi-Chi Nnani gave her a rough tackle with “I’m worried for this country if you actually have a Law degree. Public policy, kwa? Is this what Nigerian Law departments are vomiting?”.

Chisom being a Barrister didn’t take that lying down at all…Na so she give the Madam jab to the side with “what you should do is counter my argument on the issue with the legal provision obtainable in Nigeria, because I might be wrong, not sound like a tout.”.

Dayum! Aproko is too sweet, abeg! #Clapback-Aye!

ChiChi come drop ” I’m too busy for all of you. It’s too early” na so another waka pass commenter drop this bomb for her head  “Chi-Chi Nnani, you’ve succeeded in littering this thread with no contribution but question marks. Are you for real? Counter with your arguments pls.”

OSANOBUA!

Last last, Chichi come block Chisom! ???? That was how the party ended. So sad.

 

Back to our Holy Prophet…

On the reports of Pastor Suleiman escapades, we made enquiries from Omega Fire Ministries Facebook page and their response to the matter was:

“Stephanie Otobo had links to Boko Haram. She was the reason Pastor Suleiman was threatened by herdsmen ~ Omega Fire Ministry”

*yawn* The lie no even sweet sef. Bhet why?

Backpedaling to blocking and Lawyer Chisom, Chisom narrated how an acquaintance of hers blocked her when she found out she was the lover of her crush. Abeg Chisom…leave matter. Come and tell us about this lover. Ees dis how you want to be chopping on the low key and not involve Facebook fam? Come on, be a good sumbori and share jor.

Wait o, let me connect the dots for you guys. I think I know something…Nkechi Bianze saw the post and strongly felt that she fit the narrative of “blocker in the Chisom post”. She had indeed blocked Chisom in the past. Nkechi claims that Chisom is only mourning the block before deciding to make a post about it. Nkechi claims that Chisom knows exactly why she was blocked and can continue with her tales by sunlight. This topic never finish. I will update Synners when the full gbege bursts.

Why is Charles Uzor like this?

Charles Uzor made a sarcastic post with Chi-Chi’s gaffe on Darren’s wall.  The last line of the shade was a witty one. “I would hope that folks who pride themselves on their own superior intellect will at least make some effort to not appear as Texan ranchers who, after all is said and done, are but plenty hat and no cattle.”.

Boom!

Gbam!

Boom boom boom!

Charles, why are you like this?

C J Cross Ebuka just came with expired beef and said  “That lady is an idiot. Period.” Bros, why you no tell am for her face?

The p8ssy master, Ben Victor has a word for you…

“Many men call their wives sweetie, sweetheart, baby, honey and many lovely names.

Those names are actually good but I will call my wife “Otu”.

No name is sexier and sweeter than that.

Otu dearie!

Otu, Good Morning! ” – Ben Victor.

 

For those who don’t understand Igbo, Otu means pussycat.

Wehdone Sah.

 

 

That’s it for today, guys! Dont forget to share this post and drop a comment about what you think. Until I come your way next time, try not to fight…If you do, na amu-nition for me.

 

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16 comments
  1. Siiin Thea

    By the way… I like the design of this site sha.. might be a bit too edgy sha(as in the black and white thingy..a lighter shade of black will do..what am I saying??).. thumbsup

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