Chief Synner

Adventures of a Danfo Celebrity #5

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Dear Tosin,

I met Raphael this morning. He was sitting beside me. In a bus. After the last fiasco of the man who wanted to send an anniversary text to his wife, I promised to mind my business but a young man typing furiously on his China phone is hard to ignore especially when you can read his text if you stretch your neck a lil to the left… The Grammar Nazi in you would not just let him send a text message riddled with errors and shorthand.

I tapped him, Tosin. I tapped your soon to be ex-boyfriend. His head was bowed low as though he was hiding something. I tapped him again and he turned to his right, staring at me in askance. His eyes were red, red pools threatening to become one with its Mile2 counterparts.

Sorry to disturb, I told him. You use an Xfm too? Those phones can make errors during texts. Let me show you the settings I used. Of course, I don’t use an Xfm phone. I was trying to avoid slaps by being polite. He shook his head in the negative, Tosin. What was making a grown man cry on a Friday morning? Asides going to work late, being an Arsenal fan and delayed salaries?

I read his error filled text to you Tosin. It said you are getting married. It said that this is the third time you would leave. In his words…
“Wat did I do to you? You leave(sic) the first time, I take you back when you come back. Then you say you want to marry because you see(sic) a rich man who have(sic) money more than me and who have good job. Tosin wat(sic) you are doing to me is not good. If you leave this time, go after what you want. Don’t come back. Raphael… ”

You will get the full text, Tosin. He sent it before we made it to CMS. You should never have returned after the first time. You do NOT toy with peoples heart. Learn to let people go. While it is okay to get married to a partner of your choice, it is not okay to cheat or keep a beating heart as spare tyre.

You made a grown man cry in LAGOS on a Friday morning, Tosin… On a Friday morning…in Lagos…

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